Category: Those Wacky Nazis

Love Camp 7

220px-Lovecamp7poster

Video Nasty #3 of 72

Year of Release: 1969
Directed by: Lee Frost
Budget: ?????????????????
Run Time: 96 minutes
Alternate Titles: Nazi Love Camp
UK Censorship Status: Refused a video certificate in 2002

Well, this project has certainly introduced me to something new. I had, of course, known about the infamous “Nazisploition” genre of films for quite awhile but I never really had any desire to track any of them down. Even I have my limits when it comes to tasteless junk sometimes and the whole idea behind people getting off to one of the worst atrocities in human history sure seemed pretty tasteless and junky. Like, the very bottom of the exploitation barrel (I was right by the way). But here it was staring me in the face: the next movie on this list chronologically. And now I’ve sat through the whole thing. Thanks British Censorship board! You’re a true friend.

After a bit of narration that claims that what we’re about to see is a true story (lol), we open on some kind of a business meeting somewhere in “London.” Like most of the things that happen in this movie that aren’t sex, brutality, or a combination of the two this meeting is very boring and hard to concentrate on. After a lot of dull blather, the conversation turns to WWII and the head of the meeting (who is supposed to be British but doesn’t really bother to fake an accent) starts to relate his involvement in the conflict and how he pretty much single-handedly won the whole thing by himself, even though in the actual movie he doesn’t really do much. The lying bastard.
One flashback later and we’re back to the 1940’s, as seen through a budget that must have been whole tens of dollars. Ah, the good old days. When every room looked like it was made out of cardboard and almost every person sported a hilariously anachronistic 1960’s hair-do.
Back in those halcyon days, the Nazi party not only had concentration camps open to brutally torture and eradicate a whole race of people, but it also kept “love camps” open so that….good lord does this sound even stupider when I type it. The Nazi’s kept open brothel camps where they would take comely Jewish women so they could keep the officers, and occasionally the enlisted men, of the Third Reich sexually satisfied. Yes, I did just type that. I also sat through an hour and thirty minutes of it as well…
At any rate, some lady who is important to the war effort due to her knowledge of some airplane or something (I’m not putting this back on to find out what it was) is currently being kept at one of these camps. A plan is set in motion whereby two good looking female officers will sneak into Germany and purposely get captured so they make contact with the important lady person and help get her out. Before that happens they’ll have to sexually satisfy a whole lot of Nazi officers and also suffer the tortures of the evil camp commandant (writer/producer Bob Cresse, who’s awful fake German accent comes and goes at the drop of a hat). And we, the audience, will fight to stay awake…

For something that’s so sleazy and depraved, this movie sure is a whole lotta boring. Part of it is probably the flat direction combined with how drab everything looks. Even a well written movie would probably suffer from those two problems and Love Camp 7 ain’t no well written movie, that’s for sure. In fact, if you took out the all full frontal nudity and the soft core porn, you’d hardly having anything at all! Which is probably why this one was simply refused a classification instead of being cut to ribbons.
The fact that it is so sleep inducing makes the experience of sitting through it kind of weird. I mean, you’re watching what’s basically someone’s rather retched masturbation fantasy, complete with beatings, torture, and rape and all you really want is for the movie to be over so you can make a sandwich or do your taxes or try and get through War and Peace again. The nasty stuff that happens is just kind of there, and instead of being shocking it’s just flat and kind of uninteresting.
I don’t think the whole experience was a total wash though. Stuff like this is at least interesting as a way to get into the minds of people who you’d rather not meet in real life but as for actual entertainment value, there’s very little to be had here. Even the parts that should normally at least be campy fun are lacking. It’s a movie that really needed that one actor to chew the scenery to bits but nobody really is up to the task. Even Cresse is sort of restrained and doesn’t really push anything over the edge like he should have.
But what about the porn? You might ask, all sweaty brows and itchy palms. WHAT ABOUT THE PORN? Well, for 1969 I’m guessing this was probably pretty full on. There’s a ton of full frontal female nudity and a lot of uncomfortable groping and…mammary…licking. Uck. But most of the really bad stuff happens offscreen and the dudes never take their pants off during the onscreen stuff (thank Christ for small favours). So if you’re looking for titillation that way (and I kind of hope you’re not) you’re going to be kind of disappointed as well.
The film does finally come to life during the climax where we finally get some non-sexual action and some nice cheap gore but it’s too little too late.

Love Camp 7 was popular enough with grindhouse audiences to actually spawn two sleazy genres, the Nazisploitation one as well as the Women in Prison one, several examples of both of which are also on the Video Nasties list. So along with a huge mound of cheap horror crap, I get to rot my brain with this crud as well. And I’m fine with that, in fact I’m actually excited! That’s what happens when you live for this stuff, even the bad films gets you pumped to watch more.

View the trailer here and remember, it’s based on actual fact!

Random Things

  • Famed exploitation producer David F. Friedman plays a colonel in this. Friedman is partially responsible for the infamous Blood Trilogy as well as some of the most entertaining DVD commentary tracks I’ve ever listened to.
  • Like a lot of people involved in the exploitation industry of the 60’s and 70’s, Bob Cresse lived quite a down and dirty life. Friedman’s stories about him on Something Weird Video’s DVD commentary tracks are worth the price of admission by themselves.
  • You know the movie you’re watching is cheap as shit when one or more of the sets have blankets up instead of walls.
  • When I downloaded a torrent for this one it was classified as “porn” and some of the ads that immediately showed up on the host page were far more disturbing than anything in this whole damn movie.

Next Time: Night of the Bloody Apes